Your Success Strategy Could Be Killing You with Steven Langer


In episode 356 of The Business Development Podcast, Kelly Kennedy sits down with international keynote speaker, leadership expert, and Well by Design founder Steven Langer for a powerful conversation about the hidden cost of success. After years of leading schools, developing provincial wellness curriculum, and building high-performing teams, Steven found himself facing burnout, anxiety, panic attacks, and a life-changing warning from a doctor who told him he was on the path to a heart attack, stroke, or diabetes if nothing changed. Together, Kelly and Steven explore why so many ambitious leaders ignore the warning signs, why the mindset of "I've got this" can become dangerous, and how the very habits that drive success can quietly begin working against us.
Steven also introduces his refreshing alternative to the outdated pursuit of work-life balance: work-life coherence. Rather than chasing an impossible 50/50 split, he explains how leaders can build sustainable success by living and leading with greater intention, protecting time for deep work, recognizing the hidden cost of constant pressure, and creating space for genuine restoration. From transforming a struggling school by reducing suspensions from more than 300 days to just 10, to launching a business dedicated to healthier leadership, Steven shares practical strategies that will help entrepreneurs, leaders, and high performers build lasting success without sacrificing the very things that matter most.
Key Takeaways:
- The mindset of “I’ve got this” can become dangerous when it causes you to ignore warning signs.
- Burnout is not always caused by workload. It can also come from misalignment, lack of autonomy, cognitive overload, and poor support.
- The habits that help you succeed can eventually become the same habits that hurt you.
- Work-life balance is not always realistic. Steven’s better model is work-life coherence.
- Rest is not laziness. It is a requirement for performance, decision-making, and long-term sustainability.
- Leaders cannot take care of their teams if they are running themselves into the ground.
- If your work and personal life keep creating tension, that is a warning sign, not something to ignore.
- Deep work requires protected time. An “always open door” can destroy focus and make important work harder.
- Healthy leadership requires intention. Without it, your day happens to you by default.
- Sustainable success means building room for real life before the unexpected happens.
Get in touch with Steven Langer:
Buy The Coherence Compass:
https://wellbydesign.ca/coherence-compass-book/
Connect with Steven on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-langer-b9b64945/
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After this health risk assessment, she says, which do you want first?
Speaker AA heart attack, a stroke or diabetes?
Speaker AI was like, none of them.
Speaker AThanks.
Speaker AShe says, well, you've already had burnout, anxiety, depression, a physical episode.
Speaker AAs a result of that, panic attacks.
Speaker AYou're well on the path.
Speaker AThese are the only three things you haven't had.
Speaker ASo if you don't make a change in your life and how you're doing things, you will have one of these things.
Speaker AI'm telling you now.
Speaker BThe great Mark Cuban once said, business happens over years and years.
Speaker BValue is measured in the total upside of a business relationship, not by how much you squeezed out in any one deal.
Speaker BAnd we couldn't agree more.
Speaker BThis is the Business Development Podcast based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and broadcasting to the world.
Speaker BYou'll get expert business development advice, tips and experiences and you'll hear interviews with business owners, CEOs and business development reps. You'll get actionable advice on how to.
Speaker CGrow business brought to you by Capital.
Speaker BBusiness Development capitalbd ca.
Speaker BLet's do it.
Speaker BWelcome to the Business Development Podcast.
Speaker BAnd now your expert host, Kelly Kennedy.
Speaker BHello.
Speaker CWelcome to episode 356 of the Business Development Podcast and today it is my absolute pleasure to bring you Stephen Langer.
Speaker CStephen is an international keynote speaker and TEDx speaker who is redefining the way that we think about wellness and leadership.
Speaker CWith a career spanning executive roles in education, leadership development and human resource strategy, Stephen brings a rare combination of lived experience, research driven insight and practical wisdom to every stage he steps on through his company.
Speaker CWell, by design.
Speaker CHe equips leaders, teams and organizations with tools to cut through the noise, challenge outdated narratives like work life, balance and embrace coherence as the true foundation for a healthier, more sustainable workplace.
Speaker CHis audiences don't just leave inspired, they leave with clarity, confidence and a roadmap to lead and live with intention.
Speaker CAt the core of Steven's message is a powerful truth.
Speaker CThe pressure, burnout and disconnection that so many are facing are not inevitable.
Speaker CWith his signature framework, the Coherence Compass, he empowers people to shift from default to intention, from friction to flow, and to reconnect with what matters most.
Speaker CStephen doesn't just deliver a talk.
Speaker CHe creates a transformative experience that leaves people ready to act.
Speaker CIf you're looking for a voice that can spark change and move the conversation forward in a meaningful way, Stephen Langer is the one you want at the front of the room.
Speaker CStephen, it's an honor and a privilege to have you on our stage today.
Speaker AKelly, it's awesome to meet with you.
Speaker AI feel like I need you to go before me into every room as, like, a trumpeter ready to announce I'm here because that introduction was incredible.
Speaker AHumbling to say the least.
Speaker ABut, yeah, really looking forward to a great conversation.
Speaker COh, my goodness.
Speaker CSee, you wouldn't want that because you saw how much I mushmouth it the first place.
Speaker CThis is the magic of podcasting.
Speaker CYou can mush mouth all you want, and yet it's like it never happened.
Speaker ALove it.
Speaker CNo, dude, you're incredible.
Speaker CI appreciate you greatly.
Speaker CYou know, we've been connected now, I want to say, like, what, four or five months since we kind of connected for the very first time.
Speaker CYou're in Edmonton.
Speaker CI'm in Edmonton.
Speaker CYou're doing pretty incredible things.
Speaker CI'm aspiring to.
Speaker AYou're doing pretty incredible things.
Speaker CNo, it's awesome, dude.
Speaker CYou've been just, like, such a pleasure.
Speaker CEvery conversation I've had with you, I've enjoyed.
Speaker CI look forward to everyone, and I'm especially looking forward to this one because I finally get to learn your story right alongside our incredible audience.
Speaker CAnd, you know, you speak to something that resonates so strongly with our audience.
Speaker CStephen, everybody I talk to is like, I can't find this magical work life balance.
Speaker CWe talked about this ahead of the show.
Speaker CEveryone's looking for this unicorn that, frankly, in my opinion, at this point, doesn't exist.
Speaker CAnd I think we're going to hit pretty powerfully on that today.
Speaker ALove it.
Speaker AAbsolutely.
Speaker CLead us into it, man.
Speaker CLike, you've been in the teaching field.
Speaker CThat was kind of originally your path.
Speaker CYou've been a principal, and now you're coaching companies how to live better.
Speaker CTalk to me.
Speaker CWho is Stephen Langer?
Speaker CHow the heck did you end up on this path?
Speaker AYeah, you know what?
Speaker AI've always been the kind of guy that says, if I see something that I think could be done differently or in a better way, then I gotta go prove it.
Speaker ADon't just talk about it, and don't just complain.
Speaker AAnd so I started my career as a teacher.
Speaker AI had a great opportunity to start my career working with kids, doing coaching, doing outdoor ed, doing drama plays, and really embracing that idea of building a culture within a school.
Speaker AAnd I had an opportunity to learn from some really great leaders, but I also had the opportunity to learn from those that sheltered their leadership, the ones that had a hard time seeing other people have success.
Speaker ASo that led me to think, if I think it could be done better, I got to become a principal.
Speaker ASo I applied and got an opportunity to lead a school.
Speaker AAnd on the first day that I became principal at this school, my VP was new as well.
Speaker AWe both go outside at lunch to see what the kids are up to.
Speaker AAnd it's a, it's a middle school, grades five to nine.
Speaker AKids are kicking soccer balls up onto the, to the roof of the school to make the staff go up and get them.
Speaker AWe had kids linking arm and arm across the road, making sure cars couldn't pass on the road.
Speaker AWe're thinking, what did we just get ourselves into?
Speaker AAnd so the more we embrace what was going on in this school, we saw that the previous administration had done an incredible job with the staff in policy processes, planning, lesson plans.
Speaker AAll of that type of stuff was top notch and ready to go.
Speaker AWhat they needed was someone to set them free.
Speaker AIt was like they were an elastic band, just like full potential, energy.
Speaker AAnd so what we needed to do was empower our staff.
Speaker AAnd it was my opportunity to see that when you actually let your staff lead and empower them to do the best that they can, you move so much faster than if you try and do it by yourself.
Speaker ASo we started with our students where there was a reputation within the community that the students were causing trouble, not necessarily engaged.
Speaker ASo we had students form groups and each group did service projects within the community, from shoveling snow for the seniors, going and playing games at the seniors complex, painting, doing community nights, helping in any way that they could to help build the reputation that these kids are good kids and they have a lot to offer from there.
Speaker AWithin our school, we gave each kid a role so they needed something so that they could believe and buy in.
Speaker ASo some of them, we, we had a learning garden that we built out.
Speaker ASome of them took care of that.
Speaker AWe had kids that were building furniture.
Speaker AUsually those are the ones that might be the ones that vandalize the furniture.
Speaker ASo now build it now you're not gonna break it.
Speaker AAnd for the kids, it gave them a sense of belonging.
Speaker ASo now we started to see kids coming and getting engaged and seeing that they have value within the school.
Speaker AFor the staff, we had them the freedom to offer flexibility, programming in certain spaces and to bring ideas that they had onto the, onto the table so that we could enhance the learning.
Speaker AWe opened up our learning commons and became a flagship school for learning commons within our province.
Speaker AAnd it was amazing to watch.
Speaker AIn the first year, we had over 300 suspension days.
Speaker ABy year three, down to 10.
Speaker CWow.
Speaker AAnd so it didn't happen overnight, right?
Speaker AIt really didn't happen overnight.
Speaker AWe saw this shift.
Speaker AMy VP had incredible ideas.
Speaker AThe teachers had incredible ideas.
Speaker ASome of it worked, some of it didn't.
Speaker ABut what we saw was a shift in belief and belonging.
Speaker AAnd over time, that got everybody on board that this is their school too.
Speaker CWow.
Speaker CWow.
Speaker CThat's incredible.
Speaker C300 To 10.
Speaker AYeah, it was awesome.
Speaker CThat is unbelievable.
Speaker CUnbelievable.
Speaker CLike you should be.
Speaker CLike, you should be championing that across Canada at this point, across North America.
Speaker AYou know, what was one of the coolest parts about that was that as I started my speaking business, it shifted away from the education sector to my speaking.
Speaker AI was at an educational leadership conference.
Speaker AAnd the mark of a good leader is that you're building leadership.
Speaker AAnd at that educational leadership conference, there was more than 10 of the staff that I was working with that are now in leadership roles as an administrator or a director or some other leadership role within the division.
Speaker AThat was amazing.
Speaker CRight?
Speaker ABecause it's like, good for you.
Speaker AYou've been elevated, empowered, and built your capacity.
Speaker CThat's absolutely incredible.
Speaker CYou know, I mean, obviously your passion was in teaching.
Speaker CYou'd made it quite high and.
Speaker CNo, I mean, that was the principle, was only the start.
Speaker CFrom there, you even went further along in the Alberta education system.
Speaker CTalk to us a little bit about that.
Speaker AYeah, I had the opportunity to work for government doing wellness education, curriculum development and working with subject matter experts across the province in K to 12 curriculum as it was developing at a certain point in time, really getting a chance to open my eyes to the sphere of wellness.
Speaker AI had training in that area, but that's next level.
Speaker AAnd then an opportunity to work at a provincial level as well as an executive in an organization.
Speaker AAnd in each of these opportunities, I was able to see the value of effective leadership versus challenging leadership.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd the ability to move people forward or set people back.
Speaker AEventually I found that I had given everything I had to the sector, and so it was time to step away and do something different.
Speaker AThe one common theme within all of that was that people are burnt out, stressed, exhausted, tired, anxious, overworked and overdone.
Speaker AAnd anybody you speak to is like, yeah, me too.
Speaker ALike, I just can't seem to find work life balance, and I just can't seem to connect it.
Speaker AAnd I was the same.
Speaker AI had an incredible burnout story which I'm happy to share with you at some point.
Speaker AAnd it really led me to believe that, okay, again, if I think it can be done differently or better, then I better prove it.
Speaker ASo that's what allowed me to start.
Speaker AWell, by design.
Speaker CWow.
Speaker CWow.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAnd I really, I can't wait to get into that because like I said, at this point, I feel like somebody talks about work, life, balance, and like, just completely hitting a wall every fourth show, it feels like it's that common.
Speaker CLike, it is a universal experience for high performance individuals.
Speaker CAt this point, from what I understand, from the amount of people I've talked to, I think that almost every single person is either walking the line of burnout or has hit the wall.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd you know what?
Speaker AI was one of them.
Speaker AAnd it comes from this idea of, I got this.
Speaker AI was always seen as the social butterfly within my circle, the rock within my social circle that people could turn to and count on.
Speaker AI had a master's in education in leadership.
Speaker AI was a young principal, I was a young executive.
Speaker AI'd had a lot of success.
Speaker AOn the surface, everything seemed to be fine.
Speaker ABut along the way, anytime you get this challenge and you're like, I got this.
Speaker AI can push through.
Speaker ANo big deal.
Speaker AI've always been able to push through before.
Speaker AWhy can't I push through now?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AThe reality is that I think everybody's got a bandwidth.
Speaker AAnd so at some point in time, I got this doesn't work anymore.
Speaker AAnd that's where you're saying a lot of people are toeing that line.
Speaker AYeah, I told the line.
Speaker AI lost.
Speaker AI learned.
Speaker CYeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker CIt's like, I. I don't think I've ever experienced a full hit the wall burnout yet.
Speaker CLike, I know I've been damn close plenty of times, but whenever I've kind of gotten to that point, probably the closest I got was about a year ago.
Speaker CAnd I remember it was like a Friday afternoon, Friday afternoons, where typically I'm doing show production.
Speaker CIt was like seven o' clock at night.
Speaker CI put in probably 60, 68 hours that week.
Speaker CLike, it was insane.
Speaker CAnd I remember just looking at Shelby and just being like, I need to get the hell out of here because I'm about to lose my mind.
Speaker CShe's like, just like, okay, where are we going?
Speaker CI'm like, I don't care.
Speaker CLet's go see your dad.
Speaker CWe're packing up the kids.
Speaker CWe're going to Saskatoon.
Speaker CLet's just leave.
Speaker CI need to leave.
Speaker CI need to leave this house.
Speaker CAnd that was the closest I think I've ever come, Steve.
Speaker CAnd I think had I put one more day in, I might have.
Speaker CI might have just quit.
Speaker CAll.
Speaker CEverything.
Speaker CLife.
Speaker AYeah, you know what?
Speaker AI.
Speaker AIn, in the height of mine, I had.
Speaker AI had a health risk assessment.
Speaker ADone as part of an employee assistance program just because I was at burnout point and had been diagnosed at that point.
Speaker AAnd after this health risk assessment, she says, which do you want first?
Speaker AA heart attack, a stroke or diabetes?
Speaker AI was like, none of them.
Speaker AThanks.
Speaker AShe says, well, you've already had burnout, anxiety, depression, a physical episode.
Speaker AAs a result of that, panic attacks, you're well on the path.
Speaker AThese are the only three things you haven't had.
Speaker ASo if you don't make a change in your life and how you're doing things, you will have one of these things, I'm telling you now.
Speaker AAnd that was a massive shift for me.
Speaker AIt was like, hang on, I thought, I got this.
Speaker AI've always got this.
Speaker AAnd yet here I'm being told that I am well down a path to something that has long lasting consequences.
Speaker CYeah, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker CWalk me through.
Speaker CLike, were there warning signs?
Speaker CWere there points along this path where you could have took an off ramp, but you chose not to?
Speaker CAnd first off, it's one thing to take an off ramp, but I think a lot of people don't know what to do.
Speaker CLike, they end up in this space where they're like, I got myself into this mess and I don't know how to get myself out of it.
Speaker CEspecially high performers.
Speaker CBecause what we do is we start, we keep upping the standard.
Speaker COh, yeah, we add more and more to the buffet for this.
Speaker CI told you this week, I'm like, dude, like, I have upped the standard too much.
Speaker CThis week has absolutely crushed me.
Speaker CNext week will be better.
Speaker CBut I'm going to, like, clear my calendar a little bit next week because I really screwed myself this one.
Speaker CBut that's what we do, right?
Speaker CLike, it's like, one more thing, one more thing, one more thing.
Speaker CMove the needle a little more.
Speaker CAnd it's like, I'm a huge move the needle fan.
Speaker CBut like you said, there's a point at which that that needle is ticking off the red line.
Speaker CThere is no more.
Speaker CThere is no more Runway for that needle to move.
Speaker CAnd I definitely found my limit this week and I'm going to try to do some corrections next week to fix that.
Speaker CBut talk to me a little bit about some of the warning signs you were experiencing.
Speaker CSo I think a lot of people, we know about burnout, a lot of people talk about burnout, but not a lot of people explain, like, how do you even know that that's where you're going?
Speaker AYeah, yeah.
Speaker AAnd you know what?
Speaker AThere, there are a ton of signals along the way.
Speaker AThat I, looking back on, missed or chose to ignore because I got this.
Speaker ABut the reality is there's only so much of you or Steve to go around.
Speaker AThere's your, your health, there's your personal life and there's your work life and that's all you got.
Speaker AAnd so if you keep piling more on the plate of your work life and your personal life, the only place it can come from at the end of the day is your health.
Speaker AAnd so the idea that you think you can continue to weigh that down and not see it break, eventually we hit capacity.
Speaker ASo some of the things for me, when you start to notice tension between your work life and your personal life, where all of a sudden you're getting called in late to work and now it's causing stress between the family, you can't pick up the kids on time, you're racing from one thing to the next thing and.
Speaker AAnd it's causing frustration and anxiety.
Speaker AThat's one.
Speaker AWhen you're anxious heading into work at the start of a day and you're starting your day in fight flight freeze.
Speaker ACause you've got so much on your to do list that you don't even know how are you gonna make it through your day.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AWhen you don't have the autonomy to make the decisions that you need to make in a day where you don't have the direct support from leadership and management to be able to make those decisions in your day effectively.
Speaker ASo you're wondering it's out of your locus of control.
Speaker ASo you're wondering how it's actually going to start to shape your day.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AAnd when you start to see decision fatigue where it's like you just can't even think about writing another email or getting on another meeting or solving that problem, you just almost need to mind numb because there's just too much.
Speaker AAll of those things were signs along the way that I just pushed through.
Speaker ABecause you know what?
Speaker AYou got to push through and I'll get through it eventually.
Speaker AIt's no big deal.
Speaker ABut it is a big deal.
Speaker AThose are the signs that you're starting to move yourself down towards exhaustion and burnout.
Speaker AAnd so for myself then I was on that path and then we had unfortunately a pretty catastrophic event happen in our family during the height of COVID So I had young kids at the time, five and three year old.
Speaker AAnd my wife and I decided to take them out skating and she fell and she broke both her wrists.
Speaker BOh, wow.
Speaker AAbsolutely.
Speaker AImagine what you do with one of your hands at any point in Time.
Speaker AAnd now imagine not only can you not do it, you need someone else to do it for you.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo the first thing that I did is I went out and got a bidet.
Speaker ABecause there's some things that you just give privacy for your wife.
Speaker CRight?
Speaker AAbsolutely.
Speaker CYou're a great husband.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker ABut you know, you're everything from pouring a cup of coffee to helping her sip it, putting your like the fork in her mouth to feed food and trying to navigate the kids and trying to make sure they get off the daycare while working a demanding job and trying to navigate that sphere.
Speaker AAnd so I was on my game and I was trying to be the hero husband, the hero father, and the hero employee.
Speaker AAnd I was trying to do it all because I got this.
Speaker AThat was always my mentality.
Speaker AAnd so I neglected the pain that I felt in my stomach.
Speaker AThat came about two weeks into that.
Speaker AI had gotten into a bit of a rhythm, but then, you know, I'm tired, but I just got to keep pushing through and I thought just go to bed, take some Tums and off you go.
Speaker ATurns out it wasn't an ulcer or just sore tummy.
Speaker AIt was my appendix.
Speaker AAnd it had gone beyond septic to the point where.
Speaker AOh yeah, it was like, it was pretty tough.
Speaker ABy the time I got to the hospital, the doctor said I had about 90 minutes and it could have been serious.
Speaker AIt was, it was already beyond septic, eating away at my intestine and the whole thing.
Speaker COh my gosh.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYou know, I was pushing so hard.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ATo try and be this hero that I actually almost cost myself everything.
Speaker AAnd you know, not everybody has that happen in their life, but how many of us push through and work so hard that you're not there for your kids activities and now you're feeling that tension or you're not there when you're, when your partner needs you to pick up the pieces at home.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd you're forgetting and neglecting the time that you need with your friends or for your self care like the rest that you need.
Speaker AAnd so all of those things push us towards that.
Speaker AAnd hopefully you don't have a catastrophic event.
Speaker ABut we all have complexity happen in life.
Speaker ASo when that complexity comes, where's the room for it so that you don't hit burnout too?
Speaker COh, a hundred percent.
Speaker CA hundred percent.
Speaker CThat's.
Speaker CWe're all good until that thing happens.
Speaker CI. I'm totally with you.
Speaker CI th.
Speaker CSo I think as like, as high performers, we do have it, we do have it within our Box.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CBut like you said, there's so many things outside the box that we do not control that can just jump in and be like, you need to deal with this.
Speaker CAnd suddenly you're just like, oh, shit, I can't.
Speaker CI can't deal with that thing.
Speaker CAnd you know it's coming.
Speaker CYou absolutely know it's coming.
Speaker CAnd you just close your eyes and pray that it doesn't.
Speaker ARight at that moment.
Speaker AAnd you know it.
Speaker ALike, as you said, you know it's happening.
Speaker AThe second you get your life into some static state where you're feeling all right about it, that's when your tire pops or someone needs ye care.
Speaker ASomeone gets sick on the day of a presentation, you've got a big work plan, your kid gets sick.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ALife happens.
Speaker ASo we need to be able to have room for it so that when it does, it's not the straw that broke the camel's back.
Speaker CYeah, and.
Speaker CAnd exactly.
Speaker CAnd I think, like, for most people, it's that unexpected thing.
Speaker CIt's that extra thing that you thought you could take on, that suddenly it's just enough to tip the whole thing over the edge, and suddenly you're tumbling down the hill, head over, head over heels, and just hoping to God you don't die.
Speaker AI think sometimes.
Speaker AI think sometimes people think that burnout is a.
Speaker AIs a product of workload, and sometimes it's a product of workload.
Speaker ALet's.
Speaker ALet's be honest and call it what it is.
Speaker ABut I think so many more times, it's a product of misalignment with your values to the work that you're doing or the cognitive issues, the cognitive load that you have to face because you don't have the ability to make those decisions or to solve that problem, and you're wrestling with this, and you got so much in the air.
Speaker AAnd so if you don't have the autonomy, you don't have the support from leadership, you don't have the ability to make the decisions.
Speaker AYou know, you could have your workload in check, but those are the things that are taking away at your cognitive restoration ability.
Speaker CYeah, well, let's dive a little bit deeper into that.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CCause, like, that sounds like things that you have zero control over, but you're clearly trying to control it, and that's maybe where you're running into challenges, because it really sucks to try to control things you don't control.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYeah, absolutely.
Speaker AAnd I think that a lot of times when we're trying to do too much or when we're trying to push Those things that's we talked about at the beginning, this idea of friction to flow and this idea of being in friction is we're overdone, we're over capacity, we're overstretched.
Speaker AAnd that's sometimes on what we do, but that's sometimes on the impact of the decisions as well.
Speaker AAnd a lot of times we neglect that.
Speaker AIt's not just the decision you have to make, but the impact that that decision may have on someone or yourself as a result of that.
Speaker ATake a conflict situation.
Speaker ANobody likes to have conflict in the workplace.
Speaker AIt can be incredibly helpful to have a difficult conversation, but the energy and the stress that comes from having those conversations, particularly for some people, has a huge weight.
Speaker AAnd so it may just be one thing on your to do list to talk to someone and have a conflict conversation, but that can be something that has a lasting impact and draws down on your reserves and.
Speaker AAnd really impacts your cognitive restoration over time.
Speaker CSo what do we do?
Speaker CLike what you.
Speaker CI mean, the reality is you're a principal or you're governing the future of Alberta education, and you are absolutely going to have that conflict conversation.
Speaker CThere's pretty much no avoiding it.
Speaker CWhat do you do?
Speaker CDo you put it.
Speaker CIf you were in that situation, is it something that you just push off until you can handle it?
Speaker CDo you hand it off to somebody else?
Speaker CBecause there's certain things we just can't get out of, especially as leaders running teams.
Speaker CThere's going to be conflict.
Speaker CThere's going to be situations where there's disagreements and you have to handle it.
Speaker CWhat do you do?
Speaker AYeah, you know what?
Speaker AIt goes beyond being a principal.
Speaker AIt goes beyond being a leader for a team.
Speaker AIt's everybody in every circumstance who has a relationship with anyone is going to have that type of a situation.
Speaker AAnd you can use conflict as the one, in which case, I would say it might be easier to sweep it under the rug today, but what it's going to do is create a bigger problem for tomorrow.
Speaker AAnd so we do need to deal with it.
Speaker ABut this is where that idea of intention over default comes in.
Speaker AAnd so the idea is, we're not letting our days happen to us by default.
Speaker AHow many times do we go through that in a day where, you know, you get up and you splash back some coffee on your way to work, and you're in a meeting before you even knew it happened?
Speaker AYou go from meeting to meeting, to phone call, to groceries, to drop your kids off at activities.
Speaker ABy the time you get to the end of the day, all you have Time left for is Netflix scrolling social media and numbing yourself.
Speaker CThe day happened to you in there, right?
Speaker AVersus a day with intention where we're looking at like, okay, how am I building my day to make sure that it actually aligns with what I need and where I need to go?
Speaker AI'm tackling and triaging my workload to make sure that I'm taking on the biggest things first.
Speaker AAnd I'm creating room for myself along the way with rest and renewal so that I have energy to take that on.
Speaker AAnd that's the ticket right there.
Speaker AAs I think so many people push through and think, I'll just keep working, keep working.
Speaker ABut we are designed for rest.
Speaker AWe are designed and intended to restore and renew.
Speaker AYou can't go from one thing to the next thing to the next thing without allowing downtime, because that's the time that allows your brain to restore and renew.
Speaker AThat's the time where you can let that cortisol just flush out.
Speaker AAnd when you're doing things that bring you renewal, I call that rest time.
Speaker AYou know, not sleep rest.
Speaker AThe intentional things that you do when you're awake that bring you renewal and restoration.
Speaker ASo they're the things that tap into those hormones that you need, like dopamine and oxytocin, endorphins, the serotonin.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AYou're doing things for yourself to allow those hormones to flush the cortisol and get you back to baseline for you.
Speaker CWhat does that look like?
Speaker AI got two.
Speaker AOne of them.
Speaker AI love taking my dog to the off leash because when I do that, I leave my phone at home and it's time outside in nature, going for a walk.
Speaker AAnd so I'm getting the fresh air, I'm getting all the benefits of nature, which is incredible.
Speaker ABut also I'm watching my dog play and run through the trees, and my mind's just not on work, and it allows me to just sort of sit with my thoughts.
Speaker AA lot of times that's where my best ideas come.
Speaker AAnd a good half an hour, and all of a sudden I'm feeling great again.
Speaker AAnd the second one is tennis.
Speaker ALove playing tennis, right?
Speaker ABecause if I'm mad, if I'm frustrated or tense, I just crush a serve, and if it goes in, who cares?
Speaker AWhatever.
Speaker ABut I'm active and I'm with a friend and I'm outside and I'm doing things that help to restore and renew myself.
Speaker AI come away from there more tired, but also more renewed.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CDo you intentionally schedule these items into your calendar each week as Non negotiable.
Speaker AUh, you know, some people do, I don't.
Speaker AI schedule one time for myself and that's first thing in the morning.
Speaker AThe first thing that I do before I grab my phone, I get up, grab a cup of coffee that Steve from the night before programmed for myself.
Speaker AAnd I make sure that I grab a cup of coffee, go outside and go for a walk.
Speaker AIt's 10 minutes outside in fresh air around the block just to start my day with intention.
Speaker AAnd that allows me to wake up well and kind of gear myself up for the day.
Speaker AThat's the one non negotiable that I have.
Speaker ABut the rest of the time I listen to what I need.
Speaker AYou know, I listen to my body as I'm going.
Speaker AAnd you know, sometimes I can get it, sometimes I can't.
Speaker AThere are busy days and so there are days where you're like, I'd love to go play tennis, I just can't.
Speaker ABut you have to have time within your week for yourself.
Speaker AAnd even if it's as simple as, you know what I'm going to, instead of eating my lunch at my computer still working, I'm just going to go and eat it out on my front porch or at a picnic bench or whatever so that I can have a little bit of time to just disconnect and restore.
Speaker AAnd you'll come back so much better for it as a result of that.
Speaker CYou specifically mentioned leaving your phone behind.
Speaker CYeah, because I think that's where I think most people are not leaving their phone behind.
Speaker CSteven, is that one of the key requirements to being able to truly relax?
Speaker AYeah, absolutely.
Speaker ABecause otherwise you're numbing yourself by just going to the next thing, you're just, you're bringing your work with you, you're bringing your social media with you.
Speaker AWhen you get outside in nature for 20min a day.
Speaker AThere's research behind this.
Speaker AYou get, get outside for 20 minutes a day.
Speaker AIt can be a walk, could be a bike ride, gardening, whatever you like to do.
Speaker ASit under a tree and read.
Speaker AYou get greater cognitive restoration.
Speaker AYou get vitamin D absorption and better circadian rhythm.
Speaker AYour heart rate goes down, your blood pressure goes down, your mind gets the break.
Speaker ABut when you bring your phone with you, you negate all of that.
Speaker CYeah, yeah, no, I, I get it to you because it's like, it's like even when it's there, you know it's there.
Speaker CLike it doesn't have to be dinging, it doesn't have to be doing anything.
Speaker CYou just know you're very aware of your Phone being in your pocket all the time and it.
Speaker CI think we forget how aware we are that it's like not really enough to just put it face down on the desk.
Speaker CDo you really have to leave that damn thing behind?
Speaker AWell, we used to not have it, and so we can survive without it.
Speaker AIt's a little bit.
Speaker AIt takes a while.
Speaker CAre you sure?
Speaker CAre you sure?
Speaker CThere was a time before.
Speaker CI don't.
Speaker CI don't know what that was like.
Speaker CNo, right.
Speaker CI was.
Speaker CI was looking back when I was doing prep for this show and when you first got into teaching, I was in grade 10.
Speaker AOh, no way.
Speaker ALook at that.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker C2005, Grade 10.
Speaker CJust going into grade.
Speaker CAlmost grade 11.
Speaker CBut yeah, and so.
Speaker CYeah, no, I'm saying that when you got into teaching, I didn't have a phone yet, but that was about it.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYeah, that's fair, right?
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd you know what?
Speaker AHonestly, people have a hard time with that at first, right?
Speaker ABecause, well, what are you going to miss out on?
Speaker AWhat if someone.
Speaker AThat's it.
Speaker AAnd my answer to that is, so what?
Speaker ASo what if someone messages you?
Speaker AIt takes you 20 minutes.
Speaker APart of the pressure and the anxiety that we feel around our world right now is that this immediacy culture, we have to respond instantly or we're missing out.
Speaker AAnd so, you know what?
Speaker ASometimes it's actually really nice to miss out and just let things happen around you while you're focusing on yourself, and then you can come back and you can engage with it 20 minutes later.
Speaker ANothing ever happened in those 20 minutes that is that critical.
Speaker ARight?
Speaker CYeah, you're absolutely right.
Speaker CYou're absolutely right.
Speaker CBut we sell ourselves a different idea, don't we?
Speaker CWe sell ourselves that idea that something might happen and we have to be reachable at all times, at every moment.
Speaker ANow, I will precursors by, like, if you're a first responder, please don't leave your phone behind.
Speaker ALike, you need to keep it.
Speaker CYeah, we do need that.
Speaker CWe need you to not have work life balance.
Speaker CI'm sorry.
Speaker CNo, it's.
Speaker CIt's interesting.
Speaker CAnd you know, I look to you at.
Speaker CI look to you at the switch to work from home.
Speaker CRight?
Speaker CDude, I struggled so immensely with the switch to work from home during COVID because I'd never worked for my home.
Speaker CSo my relationship with my home at that time was this is my relaxed time.
Speaker CThis is my place.
Speaker CLike, this is even before I did any work from home, really.
Speaker CAnd so, like, my phone wasn't ringing me for work stuff after work, typically.
Speaker CAnd so I would literally get home, and I was able just to shut off.
Speaker CAnd I found that it was.
Speaker COnce we started to work from home and I made, you know, my basement office, it took me, first off, it took me months to get used to working from home.
Speaker CIt was a very, like, hard shift.
Speaker CI literally had to lock the door and not let myself out for, like, months, Stephen, before I could, like, get into the habit of working well from home.
Speaker CI now work exceptionally well from home, but now there's a new problem.
Speaker CMy home is my work while that.
Speaker ABut also, I'm going to maybe call you on that because I love watching your kids come up into your lap while we're in a session and stuff.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CAnd so there's two where it's like,.
Speaker AI'm working exceptionally well from home until my son comes up and starts pushing all the buttons.
Speaker ARight?
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CYes.
Speaker CJet loves to push buttons.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker ABut, yes, that idea of your home also then becoming your work, because I,.
Speaker CLike, I said, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.
Speaker CLike I was saying earlier in that moment when I was hitting my breaking point and I said I had to get up out of here, I could.
Speaker CLike, home was one of the places I had to run from.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd so I actually do a full keynote presentation for teams on how to build a healthy, remote workplace culture.
Speaker ABecause it is such a different thing to tackle.
Speaker AAnd the idea that we can just have people working from home and carry on the culture and build the connection that we need, it is very different.
Speaker ARequires a different level and layer of intention to make sure that it's done well.
Speaker ABecause think about it.
Speaker AYou know, you're.
Speaker AYou're working at home, and you go upstairs to start cooking dinner or connect with your family, and then you think of one more thing.
Speaker ASo you just pop downstairs and start it.
Speaker ABut whenever you start one, you don't start just one.
Speaker AYou do two, three, four things, and the next thing you know, you're two hours.
Speaker CDon't you say that.
Speaker CIt's just one thing, Stephen.
Speaker CIt's just one thing.
Speaker CIt's not eight things at the same time.
Speaker CYou're absolutely.
Speaker CDamn it.
Speaker CI hate it when you're right.
Speaker COh, my gosh, dude.
Speaker CAll the time.
Speaker CThat happens to me, like, all the time.
Speaker BYeah.
Speaker AAnd so it requires a different intention in setting routines and setting expectations for yourself.
Speaker ARemember when you used to go to work, you used to, like, get dressed and just head out the door and shut the door behind you.
Speaker AAnd now you're no longer at home.
Speaker AYou're on your Way to work.
Speaker ABut you have that time.
Speaker AAnd same for work to home.
Speaker CI even put on pants for our interview today.
Speaker CI'm not a cat.
Speaker CNot today.
Speaker AI appreciate that.
Speaker COh, goodness.
Speaker CYeah, man.
Speaker CIt's.
Speaker CIt's a whole new world, and we're all trying to figure out how to play in it.
Speaker AYou're right.
Speaker AYou're right.
Speaker AAnd you know what?
Speaker ALike, especially when you're talking hybrid, there's even things around policy, like, do we have core hours that we work together?
Speaker AAre there certain things that I need to do?
Speaker ALike, do I need to wear pants to immediate?
Speaker ADo I have to dress up well, do I have to have my screen on?
Speaker AYou know, do I have to have my camera on?
Speaker AAm I allowed to eat during a meeting?
Speaker AWhat happens if Amazon comes to the door?
Speaker AYou know, all of those things need to be addressed, and I think so often it's assumed, but then you end up with these unintended miscommunications where you're thinking someone's doing things for the worse, when really it just hasn't been established what's the expectation?
Speaker ASo then you don't do it.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ASo it really does require an intentionality when we're talking about those things.
Speaker CWell, it's so interesting.
Speaker CI'd love to have your opinion on this, because obviously, for a major part of your career, there was no such thing as working from home.
Speaker CLike, you can't teach kids very well without a classroom, right?
Speaker CYeah, walk me through it.
Speaker CLike, what is your take on this?
Speaker CDo you think that we should be working from home, or do you think we should figure out how to get.
Speaker ABack to an office?
Speaker AOh, that's a topic.
Speaker CIt's not the Easy Business Development podcast.
Speaker ANo.
Speaker CYeah, fair.
Speaker AYou know what?
Speaker AOkay, so I think that there is no right, wrong way to do it, but it does require time and intention with whichever you choose.
Speaker AAnd so for.
Speaker AFor me, like, I work from home, and I love it, right?
Speaker AI love being able to spend the time here and be able to go out on my front porch where I'm comfortable and have my coffee, you know, and.
Speaker AAnd take care of my dog during the day and not have to sort that out.
Speaker AAnd if a kid's sick, I can still work, and it's not a big deal.
Speaker ANow I'm working with a small team, so it's easy.
Speaker ABut I did work from home during the COVID pandemic, and it was challenging because, you know, a conversation where you used to just go next door and talk to someone, now you got a teams message them and you're interrupting them and you don't realize three other people just did that too.
Speaker AAnd so it's creating that interruption in their workflow.
Speaker AEither way that it is chosen, whether it's in person, hybrid or remote, I think it's critical that you have the deep and hard conversations about how are you going to establish processes that make sense and how are you going to connect in a way that you would if you were in person so that you can make sure that your team comes along.
Speaker ABecause for someone who's wanting to be in the trenches with your team, if you don't connect with them and you're virtual, it can be really challenging to feel aligned to the vision of the organization.
Speaker CWell, and then you see the opposite problem happening with some of the organizations.
Speaker CMy, my fiance is also in education, where they're doing a lot of meetings and not a lot of work, frankly, which can be the opposite problem of working from home where everybody wants the meeting.
Speaker CAnd it's like, great, we can have all these meetings all day long, five meetings a day.
Speaker CBut then what time is there to do the actual work?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd you know what, that actually comes down to a really good point.
Speaker ARegardless of whether you're in person or at home, I think that it's really important to triage your workload so that you can do the things that are important within your day.
Speaker AYou talk about a first responder.
Speaker AThat's how they address issues when they go to a site of a scene and so they'll talk about the first ones are the red, the serious things that we really need to address.
Speaker AIf not, it could be life threatening.
Speaker AThen there's the yellow things, and those are serious but not life threatening.
Speaker AThey might become it.
Speaker AThen there's the green, the things that are like, you gotta do it, but it's not critical.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AHow often do we spend our day doing green, green, green, while the red one is thumping in the back of your mind, causing you anxiety and you don't address it, partly because maybe you're a little intimidated by the process of tackling a red task, but also at times, you're so interrupted you can't get into a flow and a rhythm.
Speaker AAnd so this is the piece.
Speaker AIt's so important for organizations to allow their teams deep work time.
Speaker AYeah, there's.
Speaker AThere's research from Johann Hari in the book Stolen Focus.
Speaker AI recommend that book, but not as much as I recommend my book.
Speaker AAnd so I recommend that book because it talks about how we're so our time is just taken from all we're so overstimulated and our time is taken from so many different places.
Speaker AAnd when you're interrupted, when you're in a state of deep work, it can take up to 23 minutes to get back there.
Speaker ASo now think that you're trying to tackle a red task and someone messages you quick, hey, can I just have a quick minute of your time?
Speaker AThen you get a phone call five minutes later.
Speaker AThen you have somebody you know asking for a quick meeting, whatever it is, teams message.
Speaker AIf you're in the office, someone stops by your open door.
Speaker AAll of those things pull you away from the deep work.
Speaker AWhat you need is you need a chunked off time.
Speaker AAnd it doesn't have to be long, two hours, right?
Speaker AOnce a week, Wednesday, 10 to 12.
Speaker AThis time is deep work time.
Speaker ANo interruptions.
Speaker AAnd it allows you to get into a flow.
Speaker AAnd you'll find you do more work in that two hour period than you wouldn't otherwise full day.
Speaker ABecause you can get into the flow.
Speaker AAnd so absolutely, that goes at this whole idea of your professional energy.
Speaker AYou know that common phrase like my door is always open, right?
Speaker AI think that's the biggest crock of shit ever, right?
Speaker AYour door should not always be open because if so, your time is not valuable.
Speaker ASo you need to make sure that you set aside time for yourself to do the deep work.
Speaker COh, I couldn't agree with you more.
Speaker CYou know, you're part of Catalyst Club.
Speaker CThe thing I do every Monday is essentially the red list items, right?
Speaker CWe do a move the needle list.
Speaker CYeah, Move the needle lists are kind of.
Speaker CI know there's a lot of people who don't want to do them.
Speaker CActually, we, we have a lot of members who don't want to do the move the needle list and it's.
Speaker AI don't do the move the needle list.
Speaker CI get why, I get why we hate red tasks, right?
Speaker CBut every single one of those five, five or six tasks are going to be red tasks.
Speaker CBut even if you do one or two of them each week, moves the needle.
Speaker CLittle bit, Little bit, little bit.
Speaker CAnd they're all the things that over, you know, in the course of a year, it's a lot of movement.
Speaker CIt's a big jump.
Speaker CIf we even tackle one or two of those red list items every week.
Speaker AYeah, absolutely.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd, and it's those things that then come off of your back that you're not feeling as well as having to do, right?
Speaker AAnd sometimes you just gotta start them, right?
Speaker APut it on the list and then you'll Start it.
Speaker CYeah, yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker CI can't remember exactly where I heard it, but.
Speaker CAnd once again, could be total bullshit, but I remember reading somewhere once that 80% of a company's revenue comes from about 20% of the effort, like of the clients, of the, of the workload.
Speaker CLike, basically we're, we're wasting about 80% of our time and 20% of that time is the actual thing that's moving the needle for us.
Speaker AYeah, absolutely.
Speaker AAnd yet that 20% so rarely gets the focused attention.
Speaker CWe don't want to look there.
Speaker CWe don't want to look at that.
Speaker ARight?
Speaker CYeah, no, that's amazing.
Speaker CYou know, one of the things that I found very interesting or that I am very interested with regards to your story is it's an interesting jump.
Speaker CLike I said, I think you're the first teacher we've had professors, but you're the first like teacher principal, worked in the Alberta School division, you know, worked with Alberta School board.
Speaker CWe're doing some very high level education things and then was just like, no, I'm going to go be an entrepreneur.
Speaker CLike, it's real.
Speaker CLike, honestly, dude, I've been so curious the whole time.
Speaker CStarting a company is frigging scary.
Speaker CEverybody I talk to, it's one of the biggest, like, things that comes up on the BDP is like, how scary it is to take that jump from that, safety from that, from that nice paycheck.
Speaker CBecause most of the people that I've had on this show left very nice paychecks to go and do their own thing.
Speaker CNot only did you do it, you're having immense success with it.
Speaker CYou're now an international keynote speaker.
Speaker CYou have a book as of the time.
Speaker CPeople are reading this for our listeners who are like, how the heck do I leave my incredibly cushy career to go and do something terrifying?
Speaker CHow the heck did you do it?
Speaker CWhy did you do it?
Speaker AGreat question.
Speaker AI have no idea right when.
Speaker AIf I would have known.
Speaker AYeah, no, I would have done it so much sooner.
Speaker AI think part of it was I felt like I had given everything I had to the education sector and so it was time for a shift.
Speaker AHowever, I also, as I said earlier, if I think something can be done better, then I gotta go prove it.
Speaker AAnd I myself experience burnout in my sector.
Speaker AAnd it seemed like everybody that I was talking to, as you said before, they're all burning out, stress, teetering, that line of work, life balance and all this stuff.
Speaker AAnd so I think it could be done better.
Speaker AI gotta go prove it.
Speaker AThat's what led me to start my company.
Speaker AAnd yeah, you know what some people say, dip your toe in the water and see if you have something that makes sense.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd for some people, that's really good.
Speaker ADo it on the side.
Speaker ABut for me, my mindset was, if I do it on the side, then it's getting the leftover energy that I have, and it will always be put off for another day.
Speaker AAnd so I burned the boats.
Speaker ALet's go.
Speaker AWe're going for it.
Speaker AAnd so I started my company and thought, you know what?
Speaker ALife's short.
Speaker AYou're meant to enjoy it, so let's try it.
Speaker ALet's see what happens.
Speaker AAnd I think I've got a better way, so let's see what takes.
Speaker ANow, being honest, in the first six months of my business, I had a whopping zero clients, right?
Speaker ABecause I was looking to do deep strategic work with organizations, and yet I was trying to reestablish my credibility in a new industry, and nobody knew who I was, and so nobody wanted to trust me with that.
Speaker AWhat I needed was to flip my perspective and begin with training and development and getting my foot in the door, building trust with clients and letting them see that I have something to offer that could help them, and then it fuels that relationship to allow it to move forward.
Speaker ASo for me, it really all stemmed from thinking that there's a better way to do this.
Speaker AThe narrative out there at the time was, you know, we got, we need better work life balance.
Speaker AWe've got to find a way to mitigate stress.
Speaker AAnd.
Speaker AAnd I think work life balance is bullshit.
Speaker AI think it's actually part of the problem.
Speaker AYou and I have talked about this, and I think that there's a much better way forward.
Speaker AAnd it's this idea of work life coherence.
Speaker CYeah, right.
Speaker AWork life coherence.
Speaker ACoherence by definition, means that it fits together and it makes sense.
Speaker AAnd so work life coherence means that your work and your life fit together and make sense for the stage of life that you're at.
Speaker AAnd that's the best part, is it's, you know, it's constantly changing.
Speaker AAnd so this idea of balance, this 5050 idea, life's way too complex for that.
Speaker A50 50, Right.
Speaker AWe've got way too much going on between in our home with navigating family needs and navigating all the pressures that we've got of taking care of our home and then all of our work.
Speaker AAnd often you've got two people working in the home as well as Taking care of homes, whatever your situation is, life is complex, right.
Speaker AAnd so this idea that you're magically going to balance it at 50, 50 and then it's all going to work out and be perfect.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker CGreat.
Speaker AMaybe you do one day and then you don't want to touch anything because, you know, all of a sudden it's going to throw it all off kilter.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker AMy idea is that it's less like a balance scale and it's more like a teeter totter.
Speaker AThe seesaw, right.
Speaker AFrom back in the day.
Speaker AAnd it's meant to flow.
Speaker AI haven't ever seen anybody on a seesaw at 50, 50 sitting there just happy as clam, thinking this is the best ride ever, Right.
Speaker AYou're meant to go up and down, you're meant to flow, right.
Speaker ASo just.
Speaker CAnd then like some kid kicking his legs, right?
Speaker AAnd then remember when you were like with a brother or a sister or someone who was bigger than you and you sit on the seesaw and they.
Speaker CLike, yeah, there was no, you're up, you're gone.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker ABut how many of us are living up there all the time?
Speaker AConstant flight freeze and we're just pushing ourselves beyond.
Speaker AIt's meant to float.
Speaker AAnd so if you end up in a situation where you've got to work a little bit more at a season of time.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ABut you got to build intention for that and plan for that so that you can do that well.
Speaker AAnd then know that the seesaw is going to come back and you're going to restore and renew in a different way.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd that's this idea that we need to find the intention rather than just let it happen to us and juggle it all in the air.
Speaker AWe need to actually move with intention to allow that to happen.
Speaker CWell, yeah, yeah.
Speaker CAnd I definitely want to go into the coherence aspect of it.
Speaker CYou know, one of the questions that I have regarding work life balance, it's an old idea, right.
Speaker CAnd I think I kind of wonder if the, the age of the Internet, the age of the cell phone is what destroyed it as just like an almost impossibility, right?
Speaker CBecause I think, I wonder, did work life balance?
Speaker CBecause I look at like my dad as a kid, right.
Speaker CMy dad was an entrepreneur, but when he was off work, he was off work.
Speaker CThat was it.
Speaker CLike there was.
Speaker CThey weren't calling him at home to come in.
Speaker CNobody was texting him or emailing him.
Speaker CLike, I remember doing lots of fun with my dad as a kid after, after work and then during work time, he would be at work.
Speaker CI almost wonder if that was the idea of work, life, balance.
Speaker CLike there was a time when you could separate work and life because they were very different places.
Speaker CNobody bugged you, typically when you were off work and nobody was calling you at work unless there was a real emergency.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CI think maybe once upon a time it was real.
Speaker CAnd that's why we're so, like fixated or, you know, I mean, we're the generation removed from it would be the way that I would maybe say it.
Speaker CSo it's like an idea that our parents had.
Speaker CAnd so we were taught that, like, oh, you got a balanced work life.
Speaker CBut now it's like, like I work at home.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker CSorry.
Speaker CThat is so far out the window, guys.
Speaker CWe need new ideas.
Speaker CAnd I love that about you because that's exactly what you are doing.
Speaker CYou are shaking up the idea that it's not about balance, it's about coherence.
Speaker AYeah, yeah.
Speaker AAnd you know what?
Speaker AYou're.
Speaker AI think you're partially right in that sense.
Speaker AThink back to the industrial age, where it's like you go to work, you work in the factory, you come home, whatever.
Speaker ABut I remember my dad would be bringing home his briefcase and after dinner would open up the briefcase and do a little bit of work.
Speaker AIt was just done differently.
Speaker AMy mom happened to work out of the home at the time as well.
Speaker AAnd I think that's a major shift is that a lot of families have both parents working full time now.
Speaker AAnd so instead of one parent, whoever that be, working and another parent home to navigate or adjusting in that way, now you're taking on both working and the home responsibilities.
Speaker AAnd let's be honest, the home responsibilities around, you know, getting your kids to all the activities that we have to have them in these days.
Speaker AAnd, you know, just the different intention that's required for that.
Speaker AAnd yeah, you constantly got messages on your phone and people reaching out to you.
Speaker AAll of those has just bombarded the system and overstimulated ourselves.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AYou know, part of it, I think, you know, when I, when I was a kid, I did one activity.
Speaker AAnd so that's what we do with our kids now.
Speaker AThey're in one activity.
Speaker AAnd after that, if we want to do more with them, we do more ourselves.
Speaker ASo, you know, my, my son's in hockey, my daughter's in synchronized swimming, and if we want to take them skiing, we go skiing with them.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker AThat way we could do it as a family, but it's not a requirement.
Speaker AI'm not chasing them to the hill each night and doing all those things.
Speaker AAnd so I think sometimes we just fill our schedules too full and don't allow that room for complexity.
Speaker CDo you ever remember, like, maybe we were too young?
Speaker CLike, I'm trying to look back and like, say, did my parents deal with burnout?
Speaker CDid my, like, like, I have family who's in business.
Speaker CLike, I don't remember burnout.
Speaker CI don't think it's a new concept, but I just don't remember it being as big as it is today.
Speaker CLike, I.
Speaker CIs it a modern day challenge?
Speaker AI don't think it's a modern day challenge, but I do actually think it's a positive thing that we're hearing about it more because I think it was, it was dealt with in silence before.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AAnd I think that we still often do.
Speaker AIt's very rare that people reach out and feel comfortable talking about it.
Speaker AIn my circumstance, I went through my own burnout.
Speaker AI had three friends that I've known since high school and I didn't tell them till after it had happened.
Speaker AWhy?
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AWhy not?
Speaker ABut then once I did, it opened the door for them to say, yeah, me too.
Speaker AYou know, I'm dealing with this too.
Speaker AAnd so I think now what we're seeing is people are starting to communicate about that more and be more self aware and also other aware rather than before where I think it was just dealt with more in silence.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker COne of the things that I think has really helped me, like selfishly, the Catalyst Club is as much about making me feel better, all of our members, because I wanted a place where I could come and just be like, I am having a shit week.
Speaker CAnd I'm probably actually going to put that right after this, right after this, just to let everyone know, like, I am not infallible.
Speaker CI had a really hard week.
Speaker CThe reality is we need that space and we need those people who understand us.
Speaker CI. I have a weekly call with one of our members, Colin Harms, and he's become an incredible friend of mine.
Speaker CI've known him a couple years.
Speaker CHe was an early listener of the show and then went on to sponsor the show through his company.
Speaker CSo there's just been a ton of help.
Speaker CBut I've always felt like I can have that authentic conversation with Colin because it's like, he gets it.
Speaker CHe runs a big, big company.
Speaker CThey do lots and lots of dollars in business.
Speaker CSo I can call him and be like, I'm having a shit week.
Speaker CThis deal fell through.
Speaker CI'm not able to make my show Deadline.
Speaker CI'm, like, crushing it, trying to get by.
Speaker CI missed this meeting because I was so busy.
Speaker CI forgot about it.
Speaker CLike, real life happens and we need those people that we can share with.
Speaker CBut it's funny because you made the mention that you didn't tell your friends.
Speaker CI do the same thing, but I will tell my business friends.
Speaker CI will tell my peers, because they'll get it.
Speaker CMy friends will just be like, stop complaining, Kelly.
Speaker CYour life is great, but they're not in that world.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker CIt's.
Speaker CYou need people who understand you, who are in a similar situation to you, because they are going to be more empathetic there.
Speaker CYou need people who get it.
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AI think everybody.
Speaker AEverybody needs to find people that connect with and resonate with what they're doing, because there's the context around that.
Speaker ASome of the things that we're dealing with are unique to your industry, and you need someone who can hear about it and share about it and understand exactly what you're dealing with.
Speaker AThere's also times where having someone who's not connected in that way can be a really positive thing, too, because they give you that outside perspective and they remove you from that sphere for a moment and all you to think about things in a different way.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AAnd so, yeah, I think both are really valuable.
Speaker AI think one of the biggest shifts that we might have seen, and I've experienced this in the Catalyst Club, too, is it used to be seen as good leadership meant you were strong.
Speaker CRight.
Speaker AYou had control of the boat.
Speaker ARight.
Speaker AWhereas now I think there is a bit more of a mentality that in vulnerability you show courage and therefore you show strong leadership.
Speaker AYou don't have to have all the answers, but you need to be authentic and people need to be able to rally behind what you're doing.
Speaker AIt doesn't mean that you're not capable of leading.
Speaker AIt just means that you're actually a human.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CIt's so funny because it's like that shift, if I even look at.
Speaker CIf I even look at my career in business over the last, you know, 15 years, I wasn't allowed to talk about shit that was going on in my home life.
Speaker CI had to keep it together.
Speaker CYou sucked it up and you kept on going.
Speaker CI could be having the worst day ever, and I still had to put on a smile and go to my meeting and kill it for my company, because that's what was expected of me.
Speaker CCovid changed the whole thing on its head.
Speaker CI don't.
Speaker CI don't quite understand how or why what it was about COVID but it was like somebody unlocked the handcuffs and said, you know what, we get it.
Speaker CYou really are just a person.
Speaker CWe don't expect you to be a superhuman.
Speaker CYou're gonna have shit days and you can tell us about it.
Speaker CBut pre Covid, we really had to just keep it together.
Speaker CAnd it's like, I don't know why, I don't know what it was about COVID that really shook it up.
Speaker CBut there's definitely going to be a pre Covid business world and a post Covid business world with regards to mental health.
Speaker CAnd what we value in leadership, we now value vulnerability.
Speaker AAbsolutely right.
Speaker AAnd I think the leaders that are going to be the most successful are the ones that realize too, that you can have all the strategy in the world.
Speaker AYou can have all the KPIs, the metrics, the outcomes, all the targets.
Speaker AYou can be looking for growth and you can show the great spreadsheets.
Speaker ABut if you don't take care of your team along the way, then your foundation is fragile and you're not going to be able to move those things forward ongoing, because the people that do that aren't going to be well.
Speaker AAnd so that's the shift that we need to see in a workplace, is that, yeah, it's great to have all those great targets, but we also need to make sure that we're taking care of our team along the way so that they can be engaged to do those things in a sustainable way.
Speaker AI show an image in one of my keynotes that has this guy that's ripped like huge muscles up top, right?
Speaker AAnd then the classic image is skinny little legs, right?
Speaker AAnd it's like, guy forgot leg day.
Speaker ARight?
Speaker AHow many times in an organization are we seeing that?
Speaker AI got all the strategy, all the metrics and everything else, but I forgot leg day.
Speaker AAnd the leg day are my teams.
Speaker AAnd the leg day as a leader is myself.
Speaker AIf I'm not taking care of myself as a leader, I'm no good to anyone.
Speaker AIf I can't be there, if I'm sick, if I'm burnt out, I'm not able to lead well.
Speaker AAnd so that's a shift that we really need to make as an organization to creating a healthy workplace culture.
Speaker CYeah.
Speaker CAmazing.
Speaker CAnd I think that's like a perfect segue to start talking about your new book, the Coherence Compass.
Speaker CWhy did you write it and what is it about?
Speaker ALove it.
Speaker AYeah, so I wrote it because I want to shift the mindset of people in terms of understanding what wellness looks like and how that we can actually do this in a way that's sustainable.
Speaker AI don't think that we need to be burnt out, stressed, exhausted, and tired.
Speaker AI think that we shouldn't wait until we're thirsty to dig our well, so to speak.
Speaker AInstead, we need to do this for the long haul.
Speaker AAnd life's actually meant to be enjoyed, too.
Speaker ASo instead of just pushing through and being exhausted all the time, I think it's time that we shift that narrative and start to build a life with intention.
Speaker AWhen I speak at conferences, often organization, like, people will come up to me afterwards and say, you know, I really loved what you had to say.
Speaker AI wish you could speak again so that I could just chew on some of that.
Speaker AAnd so that was the impetus for me to write my book, was okay.
Speaker AThis gives people an opportunity to really take home and think about and reflect on some of these ideas.
Speaker AAnd honestly, if it shifts your mindset just a little bit, that's a huge win for me.
Speaker CAmazing.
Speaker CAmazing.
Speaker CAnd at this point, it's funny because we're actually talking ahead of the release.
Speaker COtherwise I would have read it by now.
Speaker CI will have a copy very shortly.
Speaker CI can't wait to read it.
Speaker CBut as of this listening moment right now, you can actually order the Coherence Compass.
Speaker CWho is it for, Stephen?
Speaker CIs it for the leaders of tomorrow entrepreneurs?
Speaker CWho were you thinking about when you wrote this book?
Speaker AYou know, my intention for.
Speaker AFor the people in this book are those who are really trying their best to try and make it work, but they're just feeling like they're missing something.
Speaker AYou know, they're just.
Speaker AThey're burnt out, they're stressed.
Speaker AThere's too much going on.
Speaker AI love it for leaders in working with their teams because it really helps shape the intention that you're bringing into your organization.
Speaker ASo it would be great for a leader with their executive team, with their full leadership team, as well as just for organizationally, people have an opportunity to really shift the culture towards intention and an opportunity to move forward in an optimal way.
Speaker ASo it's really intended for those that are looking for a different mindset and how to lead.
Speaker CAmazing.
Speaker CAnd so frankly, all leaders and all new leaders especially, I think, because you know what I mean.
Speaker CI love the idea that leadership books are great, but I think there's leadership books for certain times, right?
Speaker CA leadership book written 30 years ago, it might be great.
Speaker CIt might have some good information in it.
Speaker CBut like I said, Covid changed everything.
Speaker CAnd at this point, that was only, like, five years ago.
Speaker CSo yes.
Speaker CSo we need our books for this generation.
Speaker CAnd Stephen, you have written one.
Speaker CI can't wait to.
Speaker CTo share it with the world.
Speaker CIt will be in the show notes.
Speaker CIf you're listening to this right now, you will be able to buy it right in the show notes.
Speaker CAll LinkedIn posts and everything else easy to find.
Speaker CTake us in as well to your company.
Speaker CObviously you're doing international keynotes, you're a TEDx speaker.
Speaker CDude, you are incredible.
Speaker CTake me into well by design.
Speaker AYou know, it's funny, when you look back, you can see all these things that you've been able to experience.
Speaker AYou're like, wow, that's amazing.
Speaker AAnd then you look forward and it's the mountain ahead of you that you still gotta climb.
Speaker ARight?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker ASo yeah, I appreciate you nodding those things that I've been able to experience.
Speaker AI absolutely love connecting with teams, leaders, organizations and at conferences to really share this shift in mindset and raise awareness about the idea of personal and professional wellness by design.
Speaker AAnd so I do keynote speaking at conferences across Canada and the U.S. i've had the opportunity to go to Iceland as a part of that too.
Speaker ASo hey, no, no destinations.
Speaker AOff limits.
Speaker ALet's go have some fun.
Speaker ABut I also love getting in and working with organizations and doing leadership development, healthy communication practices, and taking a look at how we can build an optimal workplace culture.
Speaker AAnd at times that builds itself even further down to where we're looking at the strategy side of things.
Speaker ADigging into the processes within your company, what you're already doing, what's working, and hearing from your team what they need for an optimal workplace culture.
Speaker AAnd that's deeper strategic work.
Speaker AIt's really nice because I get a good flow, I get a good variety.
Speaker AAt times I'm traveling, at times I'm at home, sometimes on a big conference stage and other times working close knit with a group of small.
Speaker AA small group of leaders.
Speaker AExcellent.
Speaker CYeah, that's so amazing.
Speaker CAnd obviously congratulations as well.
Speaker CYou were recently admitted to the Speakers Bureau of Canada, weren't you?
Speaker AYeah.
Speaker AYeah, that was nice.
Speaker AI had that opportunity and building a relationship with them as well.
Speaker ASo really, really appreciative of the opportunity.
Speaker CThat's super, super cool and it'll definitely catapult.
Speaker CYou were already catapulted and it'll just give you that extra boost you needed.
Speaker CBut TEDxStage was already pretty friggin incredible.
Speaker AYou know what, that one was wild.
Speaker ABeing able to step into the circle.
Speaker AThere's something humbling when you know there's been that many people that have stepped in there before and to be able to share a unique idea and have that as a, as a lasting legacy is pretty cool.
Speaker CSuper amazing.
Speaker CSo if people want to get ahold of you, Steven, they want to hire you, they want to get you to come in and give a keynote for them.
Speaker CWhat is the best way for them to reach you?
Speaker AYeah, please do.
Speaker AI'm happy to connect.
Speaker AWebsite is WellByDesign CA and my LinkedIn is Steven Langer.
Speaker AEither one of those ways, I'm happy to connect and discuss if there's a fit for you.
Speaker AAmazing.
Speaker CThis has been such a great conversation, Stephen.
Speaker CI. I appreciate you so much.
Speaker CLike I said, I feel like we just connect on this, like, really great level.
Speaker CI love your energy.
Speaker CI love every conversation we have.
Speaker CI'm so appreciative to have you inside Catalyst Club and I just look forward to seeing whatever comes next from you because I know it's going to be amazing.
Speaker AAwesome.
Speaker AThanks, Kelly.
Speaker AYeah, I really appreciate it.
Speaker AIt's always nice to connect and we'll.
Speaker CJust keep building until next time.
Speaker CYou've been listening to the Business Development podcast and we'll catch you on the flip side.
Speaker BThis has been the Business Development Podcast with Kelly Kennedy.
Speaker BKelly has 15 years in sales and business development development experience within the Alberta oil and gas industry and founded his own business development firm in 2020.
Speaker BHis passion and his specialization is in customer relationship generation and business development.
Speaker BThe show is brought to you by Capital Business Development, your business development specialists.
Speaker BFor more, we invite you to the website at www.capitalbd.ca.
Speaker BSee you next time on the Business Development Podcast.








